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Time and Stress Management |
 getting to quality time
Even though you may feel anxious about handling a newborn, in a few short weeks you'll develop a routine and be parenting like a pro! The secret is that you and your baby grow together. If you are like most parents, you probably want to raise healthy, smart kids. You may already have some ideas on how to achieve this. Here are some parenting tips that will help you ensure that your children develop to their full potential.
"You tell me, and I forget. You teach me, and I remember. You involve me, and I learn." - Benjamin Franklin, American statesman, inventor, writer, and scientist
One of the parenting tips that work best is giving your children quantity and quality time.
| When you spend time with your kids, try to engage them in meaningful conversations |
| At the same time, try to build fun and healthy communications and relationships, while the kids are young so that there is openness and freedom to share thoughts, always. |
In many homes, parents do not really talk to their children when they are young. But when they become teens, these parents desperately want to talk to them. But the opportunity is not there anymore. Try not to become average parents. Converse, share and be open to understanding their needs.
| Practice and develop good habits |
It is important that you push your kids to exercise their faith and put into action the lessons that they have received. For example, it is one thing to learn about charity and caring, but it is another thing to volunteer some time to visit orphanage and serve the elderly or participate in some form of social work in the neighborhood.
It is hard trying to teach children something when we do not do it ourselves. When they hear you lying about something, what kind of message are you sending to your children? Because action speaks louder than words, your children will probably imitate our good and bad habits more than listening to our words.
| Share your memories with family storytelling time |
Try this wonderful family activity...
Reminisce about when you were little. Show pictures of yourself to your child, and relate some of your feelings about that particular time in your life. Describe things that happened at school or talk about what your favorite things to do were. Tell your child about your brothers and sisters or friends.
| Show interest and get involved |
Involved parents are parents who monitor their kids' media consumption, know whether the teachings in school are in line with their values and are acquainted with their peers.
Nobody is perfect but the more you become involved in your children's lives, the better your chances of raising them to be good citizens. This is what is required from parents when we refer to quality time.
| A loving family for support |
A strong and healthy marriage or relationship is not only good for you but also for your children. A thriving family unit not only deters anti-social behaviour, but also aids in forging lasting social support and confidence.
| Get connected with other parents |
We need support and encouragement from other parents and you’ll no doubt learn new parenting tips from them. It is good to know that you are not the only ones who may be struggling. You can encourage one another to hang in there and continue to do the right thing.
 Single Parenting
It is found that children of divorced parents have trouble concentrating, do poorly on intelligence tests, and have difficulty in reaching their potential. Should your relationship break down ensure that your children continue to have full support from both parents.
In case of a widow or widower do not be over possessive which takes away the confidence from the child and it gets reflected in everything they do. Try to build a strong support system, including a fatherly figure or a mother around to help them overcome the absence of the other parent.
get organized. get started!
There is no set rule per se for management of time. But there is more intelligent use of time for sure. It can be replicated and tried by understanding the best practices around us. Management and organizational skills applied at the workplace can be used at home as well.
The biggest tip for new mothers is, the sky will not fall down if you do not do everything today that you intended to do. The three magic mantras are:
| 1. |
Do whatever you think is important. |
| 2. |
Share your workload at home and outside (with chores) |
| 3. |
Plan out in advance |
Organize and draw out a routine for your home. Follow the same routines each day so your children know what to expect. Your days will run more smoothly.
Smooth mornings are the best way to avoid anxiety. Try these time management techniques, so that you and your baby are bright and happy all day long!
| 1. |
Get Organized! Avoid the morning chaos by using good organizational skills. Select a place near the door where you can keep your keys, purse, household supplies, important papers and letters to be mailed. Keep a petty cash fund handy. Pick out what you and your kids are going to wear the following day. |
| 2. |
Do what you can! Chop vegetables or do some chores while watching your child or assisting them with play activities. Cleaning house while the kids are growing is a difficult task because they keep picking up, moving or dropping things. The best practice is to make your child clean up the mess themselves which works as a warning. Be very specific about what you want your child to do. "Clean your room" is vague to most children as well as overwhelming. |
| 3. |
Plan ahead! You could save all the out- of-home chores for when help (husband or a caregiver) arrives home. You will accomplish more without kids in less time and with a lot less frustration. Save any chores that require your undivided attention for naptime or after bedtime. Don’t frustrate yourself by trying to do these things while a pre-school age child needs your attention, company and play companionship. The ironing can wait! |
| 4. |
Keep your date with the doctor! Keeping track of appointments is a sure way to time management. Mark the dates on a calendar and place it in a prominent place, along with a pencil or pen. This is a great time management tip as you’ll spend much less time trying to remember who is supposed to be where and when. |
Stress Management for parents
Parenting can be very stressful. Whether you are a stay-at-home parent or a working parent, a single parent or a married parent, mother or father, parent of one child or several children; remaining cool, calm and full of energy can help get you through the day. Many couples experience relationship changes after the birth of a baby. In the days after birth, when they are excited about the baby, couples often talk about feeling closer. After a period of time, usually about a month, couples often report an increase in arguments and stress. This can be for many reasons including interrupted sleep and the increase in household chores (that can't be postponed). Each partner can also feel that they are the one making all the concessions or doing all the work because of the changes that they have experienced.
Regardless of stress in conjugal life, in our modern existence, our mind is often bothered by many things. We call this stress. Constant mental stress keeps our body in constant tension which itself becomes a form of stress. We can handle stress by learning to cope with thoughts and events so they no longer are stressful.
Ways to cope
You can deal with this increased stress in different ways. Some new fathers deal with it by getting home from work later and later in order to avoid the arguments. This will not resolve the issue and in fact could make them worse. A more positive step is to talk with your wife or partner about how you can both manage these changes.
Post-natal stress and depression affects both new mothers and new fathers. If you are concerned that you or your partner may be dealing with depression, it is very important to seek professional support quickly for the benefit of yourself, your partner and your baby.
Chronic tension affects each of us differently. Depending on the person it can cause sleep disturbance, increased or decreased appetite, headaches, stomach aches, poor concentration or irritability. Some diseases may be caused by or made worse by chronic tension.
We can also learn to relax. When we practice relaxation, we are giving the "all clear signal." As we become better at giving the signal we are able to trigger the relaxation response so our body will return to its normal state.
Here are some simple stress management tips and relaxation exercises that have proven useful to adults:
Progressive Relaxation
Progressive Relaxation may sound very alien but it is actually a form of exercise which we have heard many of our yogis prescribe. It is simple. First tighten your toe muscles just as hard as you can. Feel the tension. Then gradually release the tension. Experience first the tension and then the gradual relaxation as you slowly release all the tension. Slowly, tighten and relax all the muscles of your body moving up. As you have now progressively relaxed most of your major muscle groups, you may feel a tingly sensation. You will find that your breathing has become slower and deeper. You may feel rejuvenated.
Deep Breathing
When we are tense, our breathing is often shallow and rapid. Improper breathing robs us of oxygen which purifies our body as well as helps our body produce energy. Now, find a comfortable place to lie down for 2-5 minutes. Place your hands on your abdomen just below your ribs. Begin breathing slowly and deeply. If you are breathing properly, you will feel the expansion in the abdominal area before your rib cage expands. You will notice that as you become more proficient, your breathing will improve during your normal activities.
Pleasant Images
When we think about things that are upsetting, our body becomes tense. Since you have probably had lots of experience thinking about things that cause tension, you actually have all the skills necessary to do just the opposite. Imagine something that makes you feel good. It is like preparing for a mental vacation. Relax your muscles and take a few deep breaths. Then close your eyes and imagine you are someplace or doing an action you enjoy. Try to fully experience this imagined event. See the sights. Hear the sounds. Feel the air. Smell the smells. Tune in to your highest sense of well-being and happiness. At first, you should allow 5 to 10 minutes for this exercise. As you do it on more occasions, you will find that you can feel like you have been on a long vacation or have just come back from a good time (in just a few moments).
Also, indulge yourself by:
| 1. |
Listening to good music |
| 2. |
Reading books |
| 3. |
Enjoying a hobby can make life more fun |
| 4. |
Keeping the faith: daily prayer may result in lower blood pressure and better coping |
To get a good night's rest avoid too much caffeine or alcohol. And yes, be forgiving. Don't hold grudges!
Getting Help
Consider recruiting help from friends and family to get through this time, which can be very hectic and overwhelming. While in the hospital, use the expertise around you. Many hospitals have feeding specialists or lactation consultants who can help you get started nursing or breastfeeding. In addition, nurses are a great resource to show you how to hold, burp, change, and care for your baby.
For in-home help, you might want to hire a responsible nurse or neighborhood caregiver to help you for a short time after the birth. In addition, relatives and friends can be a great resource. They may be more than eager to help, and although you may disagree on certain things, don't dismiss their experience.
If you don't feel up to having guests or you have other concerns, don't feel guilty about placing restrictions on visitors for some time.
Work roles
It is very important for couples to discuss their roles within and outside the home. It does not matter who takes on what roles as long as each person is happy with their role. There are some obvious roles which cannot be reversed, say for instance breastfeeding. Nonetheless, it is useful for couples to discuss what they want to take on and come to some agreement in sharing the role and responsibility in infant care.
Extended families
Extended families on both sides can be very supportive, but sometimes they can be intrusive too! This is often a delicate issue at the time of a new baby because each partner may like to have the support of his or her own family. It is useful to discuss and negotiate this issue as a couple, so that extended family involvement can be managed in a way that is sensitive to the needs of everyone.
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